Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize