There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
