So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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