I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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