too bad you live with your parents still
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
