I cannot find my penis.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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