absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
