yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
