I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
