I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just puked most of my soul out..
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
