I have demons in me.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
