He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
