Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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