She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
