im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
