nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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