I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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