Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
