Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
