I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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