So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
