toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
