Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
