yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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