it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
