you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize