I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
how drunk are you?
Several
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
