Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
