He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
