1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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