My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
