i would punch a child for taco bell
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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