I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
