i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
