ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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