He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
