I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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