hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
