He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
