Your tits are I can't wait for
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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