I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
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I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
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I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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