i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
