Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
