how can u be prego again
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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