Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
