Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
