It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
