he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
