he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
