I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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