Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
