Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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