Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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