I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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