he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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