Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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