Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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