aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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