just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
