last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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